"Lord Undo Me"

I don’t really worship these day
I don’t really stand up to praise you with songs
Or prayers or actions
or with anything
I am full of all the right moves
I am full of all the right words
I am full of all the right religion
But it is all just illusion
I am really
Lonely
Lost
Calloused
Jaded
Cynical
Too religious
Too realistic
and well really just to lazy
to worship you anymore
I have lost my first love
I have lost the joy of your presence
But most of all I have lost the fear of your glory

Father I need to see you again
Like Isaiah I want to stand in awe of your glory
To fall down at your feet
To come face to face with your
Perfection,
Radiance,
Goodness,
Holiness,
Awesomeness
I want to stand before you and see you for who you are
and me for who I am
I want to be undone

I want to know me for who I really am
I want to see the depths of my heart
And know that you are the only way
You are the only truth
You are the only life
I want to see me and understand
What it really must have taken for you to
Love me
Care for me
See me
Speak to me
Want me
Communicate with me
Die for me
Die for me
Die for me

Lord, I want to stand in that place where all I can see is your glory
And my sin
Because in that place I can’t help but worship you.
Lord let me come undone
Undo my heart
Lord, undo my heart
break down these walls that I love so much
No, wait don’t,
I’m scared I don’t know if I can handle this
don’t
But I can’t live this way anymore
I can’t stand here in this half-life
this going through the motions life
this not really alive life
Father, I need you so come in and do what you must
Cut out the tumor on my heart
Break down the walls that I love
Lord let me come undone
Undo my heart
let me worship you again

*Blake Williams

Update

This is my update in a complete sentence.

Paper Anniversary!

It seems like I've misplaced my blog. I could blame facebook or it might be that all my updates come from a different blog. It just doesn't seem to have any point. Whatever the reason I'm sorry I haven't been updating.
The most recent news is that Matt and I have just celebrated our first year of marriage. It was the paper anniversary. One of the things that I've learned about the two of us is that we like to be unique but also stick with tradition. We didn't plan on giving each other paper but that's what we ended up giving each other. I decided to write him a personal romance novel. It only got the part when Matt and I first became a dating couple but at least it's started. Matt gave me this very accomplished drawing of our first year of marriage. I had to bring it to work with me to show everybody.

The main way we celebrated our anniversary though is through a road trip. We left Friday and drove across Nebraska to see Chimney Rock and Car Henge. Then we drove up into South Dakota to see Mount Rushmore, Crazy Horse, Wall Drug, and the town of Vivian!! It was refreshing to get away. On the road Matt and I were reminiscing about the wedding day and listening to the book Ender's Game.

Letter to my blog

Hello Blog. I've missed you. I hope everything has been going good. Things have been fine here. I got married about 3 and a half months ago and I've been learning as much as I can. We got our first Christmas tree yesterday. That was such an adventure! We went to an actual Christmas tree farm! I haven't been to one of those since I was a kid. We didn't stay long however; since the weather was too cold for us. I didn't really like those trees anyway. After going home to get Matt's coat it was much more fun. We just decided to go to the same place I go ever year. They seem to always have great trees. We found the perfect one! After putting it up and going to the store a couple times we ended the day with watching the Christmas Vacation and sipping hot eggnog together. It was a really great day blog. Well it's about time to get ready for church so I'll sign off for now. I'll write again soon.

Love,
Viv

Saying Goodbye To The Land Of Dunkin

BISQUE

We had bisque the first night in Maine! I have to say that the bisque in Maine is absolutely wonderful!

One more day

Well I'm getting married tomorrow. Everybody said the time would go fast. They were right. The day of marrying the man of my dreams is almost here. I have been a lot less stressed then I thought I would be. I have many people working hard to help make everything a success. They seem to be the stressed out ones. Today I have been just trying to get as much alone time in as possible. People keep asking me what I'm looking forward to the most. I keep telling most of them the same answer. To see many of the social worlds in our lives combined into one. We got family, Jitterbugs, Bible study members, Comic Genesis friends, and co-workers coming. It's going to be amazing to see and I'm really looking forward to the fun that will had.

Royals Game!!!

Having fun at the game!

All DONE!!!!!

I am so happy. I finally got finished with my taxes.
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I'M ENGAGED!!!!!!!!!!!

I'M ENGAGED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Matt proposed to me this afternoon!! I was completely surprised. This is how it happened. Matt told me yesterday that he lost his thumb drive. He asked me today if we could go down to the Eagles Lodge to look since he wasn't able to find it in his car. We went down there and looked around. After awhile he tossed his thumb drive on the table and said I didn't loose anything. He then took out two speakers and said he reserved the place until 4 o'clock so we could dance. We dance 3 songs. The first one was Unchanged Melody. The second was The Time of My Life from dirty dancing and the third was Let's Call the Hole Thing Off. After having fun goofing off and dancing the them to Ghost came on and Matt and I were standing in the spot where he first asked me to dance. He said; do you know what this place is. I replied it's where you first asked me to dance. He said yes and now I need to ask you another question. He got down on one knee and said Vivian for last year you have been the light of my life and now it's my turn to ask you do you want to make it official, Vivian Marie Taber will you marry me. Then I said Yeaaah!!!!!!!!!!